BEING A RE:GENERATION MENTOR
By: Tina Roquamore
If you were asked, as I was, to be a mentor for someone going through a program that cuts to the core of their being, what would you say?
First, what is a mentor?
The dictionary definition is a trusted counselor (noun) and also an active listener (verb) who’s enthusiastic about helping to achieve goals and providing honest feedback. When Margarita said she had a favor to ask me, my answer was “whatever you need, yes."
After telling me what the favor entailed, my next question was “are you sure you want me?” While I have been known to provide honest feedback, it seems that’s exactly what she was wanting. As I went through the training, I was encouraged with all the information and support provided to those willing to undertake this role. Maybe I could do this!
Like many women, my first inclination was to “fix it." I quickly (in one session!) learned what I needed to do, and more specifically what not to do. For a talkative fixer, this was a whole new ballgame for me. As we dove deeper into the program, the enormity of what I’d been asked to do hit me hard. She was trusting me with her deepest thoughts, fears, pain, etc.
You get the picture?
Would I truly be able to be the kind of mentor that she needed me to be in caring for her and being gentle in her vulnerability?
As she worked her way through the workbook, I was able to work on myself as well. While the title and job may sound lofty to some, I quickly learned, for myself, this role was as a “servant/helper.” That’s what I was there to do for her. Walk with her. Lift her up in prayer. Listen intentionally and intently. Two ears and one mouth, right?
I began to pray for myself and how best to serve her. I was in awe of her willingness to go through the process of deep cleansing of sorrows and pain, some long held, some recent. Exploring the who, what, when, where and how of her life; how does it line up in finding the best version of herself in God’s eyes and his will. After all, how can our light truly shine if it’s hidden under such weights.
As Margarita and I traveled this road together, albeit with differing reasons and paths, I believe the same goal was being reached – to be made “a vessel…an offering…whatever You want me to be.”
The dictionary definition is a trusted counselor (noun) and also an active listener (verb) who’s enthusiastic about helping to achieve goals and providing honest feedback. When Margarita said she had a favor to ask me, my answer was “whatever you need, yes."
After telling me what the favor entailed, my next question was “are you sure you want me?” While I have been known to provide honest feedback, it seems that’s exactly what she was wanting. As I went through the training, I was encouraged with all the information and support provided to those willing to undertake this role. Maybe I could do this!
Like many women, my first inclination was to “fix it." I quickly (in one session!) learned what I needed to do, and more specifically what not to do. For a talkative fixer, this was a whole new ballgame for me. As we dove deeper into the program, the enormity of what I’d been asked to do hit me hard. She was trusting me with her deepest thoughts, fears, pain, etc.
You get the picture?
Would I truly be able to be the kind of mentor that she needed me to be in caring for her and being gentle in her vulnerability?
As she worked her way through the workbook, I was able to work on myself as well. While the title and job may sound lofty to some, I quickly learned, for myself, this role was as a “servant/helper.” That’s what I was there to do for her. Walk with her. Lift her up in prayer. Listen intentionally and intently. Two ears and one mouth, right?
I began to pray for myself and how best to serve her. I was in awe of her willingness to go through the process of deep cleansing of sorrows and pain, some long held, some recent. Exploring the who, what, when, where and how of her life; how does it line up in finding the best version of herself in God’s eyes and his will. After all, how can our light truly shine if it’s hidden under such weights.
As Margarita and I traveled this road together, albeit with differing reasons and paths, I believe the same goal was being reached – to be made “a vessel…an offering…whatever You want me to be.”